Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Zombie Cookbook Review
THE ZOMBIE COOKBOOK
Edited by Kim Richards
Damnation Books, LLC
Digital ISBN: 978-1-61572-037-8
Print ISBN: 978-1-61572-036-1
Are you a fan of rotting flesh, drooping eyeballs, dismembered bodies, romance? Romance? Yes, The Zombie Cookbook has something for everyone whether your reading tastes lean toward the gruesome or the romantic. Kim Richards has put together an eclectic collection of zombie tales and recipes, beginning with “Wokking Dead” by Karina Fabian and ending with “My Big Fat Zombie Wedding” also by Ms. Fabian. Spattered in between these two very different tales are stories, recipes and poems by Becca Butcher, Carla Girtman, Cinsearae Santiago, Dawn Marshallsay, Kate Sender, Lin Neiswender, Lisa Haselton, and Scott Virtes.
The Amsterdam rock band, The Zombie Cookbook, begins the collection with an introduction, “A hard message to deliver,” which is guaranteed to set the tone of the book. Next up is Ms.Fabian’s tale, “Wokking Dead.” Ms. Fabian, true to her humorous form, writes a quirky tale with Neeta Lyffe (would you say “need a life”?) as a zombie exterminator. While there is certainly enough slicing, dicing and broiling of zombies in this story, Neeta’s work partner, Ted, manages to find Neeta attractive. Lisa Haselton has the next story in this collection, “Secret Ingredient.” While our heroine, Annie, a popular chef in the local community, appears to be resigned to having a zombie as her sous chef, revenge for the death of her parents at the hands of rogue zombies lies at the heart of this story. You need to read it to find out Annie’s “secret ingredient.” On the next page, Lisa adds a short ode to Clete, the spaghetti eating zombie of her tale, “Secret Ingredient.”
Becca Butler’s contribution to the collection is a yummy recipe for “Beer-Battered Zombie with Butternut Squash.” Yummy, that is, if you tolerate the odor of cooking zombie flesh.... Lin Neiswender follows with “The Right Recipe,” a tale of Paul Clemmons, Food Editor for Zombie Cookbookery Publications International. Paul receives several emails from readers both pleased and displeased by his department. But, what’s this? Nestled between the innocuous communications is a threat, “u eat zombies so u die...” You will need to read Lin’s tale to find out if Paul survives or becomes a recipe ingredient for a vengeful zombie. Another delightful recipe, “Quick and Easy Zombie Pastie,” is provided by Kate Sender. This dish includes puffer fish, cheese and wilted spinach as well as bone meal seasoning. Just what your zombie needs to stay healthy.
“Express Cuisine,” by Dawn Marshallsay, offers action and adventure as our heroine, Ruby, battles against a train full of rampaging zombies. Ruby manages to survive through cunning, daring, and a plastic serrated knife, but you must read the whole tale to see what waits for Ruby at home. Carla Gitman next adds her gruesome tale, “Brain Food,” the story of a zombie husband and wife who aren’t exactly good for each other. Scott Virtes, “Brain Salad for Dummies,” gives you a recipe and plan for exterminating unwanted zombies in your neighborhood. You’ll need this if you find you are amongst the last groups of surviving humans.
“A Zombie’s APB,” by multi-talented Cinsearae Santiago, is written from the zombies’ point of view. Just imagine what it would be like to be forced to eat contaminated human flesh! Really, isn’t that what humans are doing to themselves by consuming foods laced with preservatives, ingesting steroids, drinking carbonated beverages and submitting to breast implants, and hip replacements?
Keep in mind the next time you drink your soda that toxins and fake body parts are not palatable to your average zombie. (Cinsearae is also the talent behind the cover art for this anthology.)
The final tale, “My Big Fat Zombie Wedding,” by Karina Fabian, is a humorous romance where normals and paranormals freely interact and marry. Karina’s main character, Vida Hadanoff (think I’d had enough), is introduced to Mortimer Stahl, a zombie (yes “Mort,” as in death). Disgust soon turns to romance. Romance turns to wedding plans. But wait, Vida’s parents have a few hang-ups about their daughter marrying a zombie, not to mention Vida’s brother, Jason. Like all weddings, Vida’s has its problems, all of which will keep you laughing.
Interspersed with these delectable tales are eye-popping, finger-licking good illustrations provided by the talented George Silliman whose specialty is horror.
Pick a moonless night. Get out your flashlights and gather round the campfire or fire pit for some spine tingling, bone-chilling reading. This fun book will be available September 1, 2009. Look for more information at:
Be sure to stop by for interviews with editor Kim Richards and contributor Karina Fabian on Wednesday, October 7th. Then on Friday, October 9th, I'll be interviewing contributors Lisa Haselton, Cinsearae Santiago and Lin Neiswender.